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Chocolate-Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Cake Recipe | Chocolate Swiss Roll
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Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll + More [VIDEO]

November 2, 2014 | 78 Comments
Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll

A little while back, I posted a self portrait on Instagram with a caption describing my instinctive desire for authenticity. Admittedly, this need was brought into the foreground because of a sore heart and selfishness— a positive form of the latter, at least (I promise, I’ll get to this Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll momentarily).

This isn’t an entry of tear-thick protestations, or even a speech. Rather, it’s one of celebration, acceptance, and most importantly: clarity. This post is mostly for myself; it’s to document a nearly decade-long inner fight, and to mark the moment that I march to the beat of my own drum and do what feels right. This post is also to create some clarity for everyone in my life— some of my family, some of my friends, and for you; I feel this is necessary for all of us.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

Most of my life has been spent trying to be an unparalleled force to be reckoned with; I’ve always been a people pleaser. And up until a couple years ago, I thought I could manage it all. I thought I could be the perfect student, the perfect friend, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect son, the perfect nephew . . . The perfect everything. “Perfection”— that’s what’s been my biggest issue. Though I eternally loathe thinking about my image, I’ve spent my life focused on perfection; and that, essentially, is being image-conscious. It was almost a bit of a double standard, and focusing on this faux-instinctive desire exhausted me greatly.

For nearly a decade, my focus has always been on making others happy and living through their happiness. And, don’t get me wrong, that’s certainly not wrong at all; but when you make that one of the main purposes of all your relationships— familial and not, it just doesn’t work out. It leads to a lot of disappointment and sadness.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

Up until a couple months ago, I thought I needed to please everyone. I thought it was necessary to give, give, give. After looking back on this, I wasn’t expecting so much naiveté from myself, but things happen and all I can do is accept that I’ve to learn how to work with the scales of give-and-take.

Tiny, unimportant things can destroy us internally— if we allow them to, anyway, especially when we try to live the life others have planned for us. There are so many omnipresent hackneyed ideas that describe how men and women must behave. These ideas— these stereotypes— they do good for no one; anyone who doesn’t cleave to these unrealistic standards goes under the scrutiny of others, and I for one have been there.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

We all have stories (especially those we’ve endured during our educational careers) and different experiences that can be written down and taped together to span the earth millions of times. And though these memories assisted in my ever constant self-discovery, they don’t define the kind of person I am. Our experiences, no matter how horrid, don’t define who we are unless we let them. How we share ourselves is based on our own actions— this, I feel, makes up part of the definition of who we are as individuals.

Being a positive human being, and sincerely trying to make some sort of a difference— by having hope and giving hope— is what sets a positive person apart from one who might be disheartened. Hope, like happiness is evanescent; it can exist and last so long as we allow it to. 

We can’t expect the best if we litter the planet and our lives with negativity; the laws of nature aren’t designed to work that way. In order to coexist and be happy, it’s important that all of us understand that. In order to have happiness, we must pour it into the universe— in any form possible. Not through lying, not through retaliating and fulfilling vendettas, and surely not through ignorance.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

I’ve never liked the old adage, “ignorance is bliss.” I feel that such an “aphorism” offers an excuse to not better oneself. Why live in ignorance when we can educate ourselves, learn, and share a wealth of important information that could help commence acceptance of peoples who currently struggle to be accepted? Acceptance has been a theme of mankind for centuries, and mankind has struggled greatly with it.

After almost a decade, today, I’ve decided that staying silent, that allowing others to turn the wheel of ignorance, and that selectively lying is not what I want for myself and for those that I love. I’ve not been completely honest in one aspect of my life, and that— that’s not what I want; especially in a space where I’ve promised to be true to myself and to my readers.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |
Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

As small children, somewhere between the innocence and tantrums, we learn how to lie. It seems like a natural thing to learn, despite how much we would like to admit it, along with walking and talking. As we mature, we either choose to further develop these skills, or not. For me, growing up, I learned that lying was a very elaborate practice. And though I abhor the act of lying, I found myself doing it so often because I wanted to please others; while doing so, I lost a great deal of confidence in myself. By avoiding honesty, by trying to protect myself from judgment and by wanting to please others, especially my family, I set myself back and created unnecessary stresses in my life.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

I come from a multiracial background of multiple faiths; I know what it’s like to have to work 20 times harder than the next person, and to fight for acceptance in anything you do— to break boundaries. This fight is second nature to those that are different; what’s harder is informing others and hoping that they’ll make the right decision based on factors that are fair. Both sides of my family are very religious and conservative, and the news I’m here to share with you today might be nothing short of difficult for some to handle. For others, it might be a walk in the park, a shoulder shrug, or wide-open arms of acceptance. And for some, it might be a moment in which my words reach you for the last time, or the first time you open up your eyes. I accept it all because I have hope and confidence that one difference doesn’t matter because it’s a small part of who I am.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

I’m gay.

At this point, you’re either with me or against me, and I’m fine with either.

Regardless, this process of “coming out” has been nothing short of straining— not only for myself, but for others. I’ve lost friendships, work, and relationships with many people because of my sexuality— a small part of myself that doesn’t define the person I am. And though this may seem like information too personal to share on a weblog, I feel like I owe it to everyone to be honest because there are many people who aren’t as lucky as I am. Who aren’t as lucky to have such loving and understanding people in my life… We all deserve acceptance and love. We all deserve to hope and to be happy.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |
Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |
Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |
Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

Love, as I’ve learned over these past few years, is a gift to mankind; in all of its forms— be it the delight, the glamour, or even the grief associated with it. I am not exactly the epitome of empirical; I’m young and I am probably not as emotionally experienced as the next person. I do know this, however: I know that all people deserve to experience love and happiness (whatever we individually define it as) without compromise and without embarrassment.

I’ve spent too much time hidden in the background in the lives of others. I’ve spent too much time loving silently and secretly. I’ve spent too much time being tolerant of mistreatment I didn’t deserve from bullies and those I loved. I’ve spent too much time being tolerant of ignorance. I’ve spent too much time tolerant of being ignored, and I’ve spent too much time tolerant of being talked down to. Today, I put my foot down and say I’m no longer tolerant of these things.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |
Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

I support equality, I support acceptance, and I support love in all its forms. I support open arms, sharing journeys, and supporting those that ask for help.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swiss Roll Recipe |

My book, practically my child, Hand Made Baking, followed me as I’ve undergone this transformative journey over these past few years. It’s been the reason I keep going and the reason I’ve managed to get this far.

Hand Made Baking is coming out in a couple weeks (November 18th, to be precise!). I’ve not opened up much about the book on the web; I’ve wanted it be a surprise for everyone (not even my family has read it). Hand Made Baking is my biggest attempt yet to convert fear-filled nonbakers into experts in this ultimate form of comfort cooking. Everything from childhood memories of pumpkin pies, to Norah Jones crooning softly in the background, to mentions of Will & Grace and The Golden Girls, to heartbreak-curing cookies, cute kitten videos on YouTube, and mentions of childhood summers… It’s all in there, and this book was with me during the entire time.

In celebration of coming out— myself, and the book— (preorder details at the end of this post) I wanted to share something glamorous. Something rich, sexy, and something that cuts to the chase, but doesn’t require much more than a small timeframe of dedication on your part.

Imagine this: peanut butter cream cheese mouse rolled between insanely quick Chocolate Swiss Roll Cake and adorned with a robe of rich chocolate ganache and a super-easy peanut brittle recipe. I’d tell you how it all goes, but I figured that after all the reading, a video recipe might be lovely:

This is me, and this is Hand Made Baking.

As, promised, preorder details (for the major retailers that I could think of):

USA: Amazon // Barnes & Noble // Powell’s // Books-A-Million // Chronicle Books
UK: Amazon UK // Blackwell’s // The Book Depository // Waterstones // Abrams & Chronicle Books
Canada: Amazon Canada // Indigo // McNally Robinson

Chocolate Peanut Butter Mousse Swiss Roll Cake Recipe
Makes One 9-by-5-in / 23-by-12-cm roll
Serves 4 to 6
Total time:

Cake & ganache recipes adapted from Hand Made Baking, brittle adapted from an old issue of Donna Hay Magazine; Inspired by here, here, and this book

This cake is perfect for any kind of celebration. It’s rich, and I oblige you to have a glass of cold milk ready before indulging into this lovely roll cake. Though it appears to be glam— and no doubt it is— don’t be fooled by its sexy, cut-to-the-chase appeal. What’s required isn’t an entire day of slaving in the kitchen, but rather a little bit of preparation and maybe some shortcutting.

The most daunting part about this cake isn’t the baking, which only take about 10 minutes, it’s the preparation. The preparation isn’t anything taxing or overly complicated, but it does require a little bit of proper planning and reading the recipe ahead of time, especially if you want it all to come together rather quickly. The Peanut Butter Cream Cheese Mousse (which is very peanutty, slightly tangy and not overly sweet) and the Chocolate Ganache can be made up to 24-hours in advance, or made in the order as directed below. And the super-easy peanut brittle can be made several days in advance. The brittle is an optional addition, you can definitely use store-bought brittle, chop-up your favorite peanutty candy bar and use that, or just leave the topping component out entirely. It’s up to you!

Warning: be prepared to get a kitchen towel dirty; be sure to use a clean one that you don’t mind staining with cocoa. 

Also, do keep in mind that the higher the cacao content of the chocolate you use in the ganache, the richer and darker it will be. Also, be sure to refrigerate the ganache if you plan to make it ahead. Once you’re ready to use it, put the ganache in a heat-proof bowl over a pan of simmering water and let it melt back to pouring consistency.


1/2 cup / 60g all-purpose flour
1/2 cup / 50g unsweetened cocoa powder (natural, or Dutch-processed), sifted, plus more for dusting

3/4 teaspoon baking powder
4 large eggs plus 1 egg yolk, at room temperature
Pinch of fine-grain sea salt
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons / 125g granulated white sugar
1/4 cup / 55g unsalted butter, melted and slightly cooled
Powdered sugar for dusting (optional)

Peanutty Peanut Butter Cream Cheese Mouse
4 oz / 113g cream cheese, at room temperature
2/3 cup / 160g peanut butter (try to stick to a commercial brand because oil won’t separate out)
2 tablespoons / 30g unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup / 100g powdered sugar
Pinch of fine-grain sea salt
Pinch of nutmeg
1/2 cup / 120 ml heavy whipping cream (double cream)

Peanut Brittle (optional; refer to headnotes for substitute)
1 cup / 200g granulated white sugar
3/4 cup / 100g salted peanuts

Chocolate Ganache (refer to headnotes, if making ahead)
6 oz / 170g chopped dark chocolate (54 to 70 percent cacao)
3/4 cup/ 180ml heavy whipping cream (double cream)
1/2 teaspoon light corn syrup / golden syrup / light agave nectar

Make the Cake

Position a rack in the center of the oven. Preheat the oven to 450F / 230C. Grease the bottom and sides of a 9-by-13-in / 23-by-33-cm baking pan and line with parchment paper. Grease the top of the parchment and dust the pan with cocoa powder; tap out the excess (I do this over the sink for easy cleaning).

In a medium bow, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, and baking powder. Set aside.

In a large bowl using a handheld mixer or in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, whisk together the eggs, egg yolk, and salt on high speed until thick and doubled in volume, about 3 minutes.

With the mixer still on, steadily stream in all the granulated sugar; continue mixing on high speed for another 3 minutes, or until the mixture is light in color and thick in consistency, and leaves a trail when the whisk is dipped in and lifted out. To also check if the mixture is done, press a dot of the mixture between your thumb and forefinger; you shouldn’t be able to feel granules of sugar in the mixture

With a spatula, carefully sprinkle the flour–cocoa mixture on top of the egg mixture. Gently folded in until just incorporated. Stream the butter down the side of the bowl, carefully stirring just to bring everything together.

Pour the mixture into the prepared pan and gradually tilt the pan back and forth so the mixture levels out and evenly spread into the corners.

Bake for 7 to 10 minutes, or until the cake begins to pull away from the edges of the pan, the cake is springy to the touch, and the cake tester inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean or with a few crumbs attached.

While the cake bakes, evenly dust a clean tea towel or flour sack towel (it should be longer than the pan) with cocoa powder. Once the cake is baked, run a thin knife along the sides of the pan, then invert the cake onto the prepared towel. Carefully loosen and peel off the parchment from the bottom of the warm cake.

Working quickly, trim the edges of the cake with a sharp knife just enough to square everything off when making a cut 1-in / 2.5cm from one of the shorter edges, being sure not to cut more than halfway through (this will allow the cake to roll neatly). Lightly dust the top of the cake with more cocoa powder.

Put a clean piece of parchment or wax paper on the dusted cake (you can skip this bit if you like living on the edge, but I like to take proper precautions). Firmly, but gently, roll up the warm cake from the cut end, including the tea towel in the roll, and leave the cake to cool completely. Doing this will allow the cake to be easier to fill later on. Put the rolled package in a loaf pan, if it fits, to help hold its shape, and set in the refrigerator to cool for at least 2 hours.

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 400F for the Peanut Brittle.

Prepare the Peanut Butter Cream Cheese Mousse

In a large bowl using a handheld mixer or in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat the cream until stiff peaks form. Scrape the whipped cream into a smaller bowl, and set aside.

In the large bowl (no need to clean it), beat the cream cheese until smooth. Beat in the peanut butter, followed by the room temperature butter and the vanilla extract. Scrape the sides of the bowl a bit.

Now, with the mixer on low, beat in the powdered sugar, sea salt, and ground nutmeg. Once the sugar and spices are incorporated, turn the mixer off and scrape down the bowl. Using the spatula, briskly stir in about 1/3 of the whipped cream mixture. Add in the rest of the whipped cream and fold it into the peanut butter cream cheese goodness. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and place it the refrigerator to chill.

Make the Peanut Brittle
Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper, and evenly sprinkle in the sugar. Bake for 15 to 18 minutes, or until all the sugar is melted and golden. Once immediately out of the oven, carefully (sugar is very hot at this point!) sprinkle over the chopped peanuts, and allow to cool completely before casually breaking into pieces.

Make the Chocolate Ganache
Put the chocolate in a medium heatproof bowl. In a small saucepan over medium heat, bring the heavy cream to a simmer. Remove the pan from the heat and pour the cream over the chocolate. Let the mixture sit for a minute, then add in the corn syrup and stir until smooth. Set aside.

[Kamran note: if preparing the ganache a day ahead, be sure to press some plastic wrap (cling film) onto the ganache to prevent a skin from forming].

Decorate the cake
Once the cake is cool, carefully unroll it. Remove the sheet of parchment and evenly spread the mousse onto the cake, leaving a 1/2-in / 12mm border all around. Re-roll the cake (without the tea towel inside the cake, of course). Place the cake on a clean cooling rack, over a sheet of parchment paper. Evenly pour the ganache onto the cake, use a spatula or knife to help spread it out. Allow the chocolate to drip off onto the parchment (I scrape the excess into a bowl and serve it with the cake; it’s liquid gold!). Decorate the cake with the shards of peanut brittle, and move to the refrigerator to chill for 1 hour. After an hour, dole out slices, and enjoy!

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  • Reply Lauren November 2, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    Kam, I just have love for you. For your coming out, for your book, for that darling video, for you. (Miss you!) xox

    • Reply Kamran November 5, 2014 at 4:29 pm

      Lauren, thank you so much for your constant support! Miss you too!

  • Reply Ayesha November 2, 2014 at 10:31 pm

    Hi Kamran, I hope you have an easier time with your family and friends moving forward with this news. I do wish we were all accepted based on our character and not on our sexuality/religious devotion/academic performance/looks etc. I have a brother named Kamran too…so I’m guessing you come from an Islamic faith background and I can imagine how hard that must have been to come out to. Good luck in the future!
    P.S: The cake is perfection ;) Oops, wait a minute, less than perfection is still ok :D

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  • Reply Brian November 2, 2014 at 10:51 pm

    Where to even begin.

    You should be proud of everything you’ve accomplished. This beautiful site, your book, your words and photography, your recipes… But, most importantly, your honesty. You rock.

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  • Reply Shauna November 2, 2014 at 10:58 pm

    I adore you, and I adore this post! Here’s to living life out loud, and all your great successes. I cannot WAIT to get my hands on your book! I am so proud of you. xxoo

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  • Reply Shelby November 2, 2014 at 11:46 pm

    Hey Kamran,
    I know I haven’t spoken to you in forever. I just wanted to say that I have following your posts on your blog (which I absolutely love) and I really enjoyed your post today. The cake looks amazing. I will have to try to make it sometime. I am so happy for you and I am proud of you. I cannot wait to buy your book. It’s very exciting. Miss you.

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  • Reply Irvin November 3, 2014 at 1:10 am

    Yay! Congratulations on this post and your book. I’m so excited for you and for what life brings next for you!

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  • Reply Diane {Created by Diane} November 3, 2014 at 1:48 am

    Happy for you, your book and this delicious looking cake. I hope everyone in your life knows how blessed they are to have you in their life. You deserve to be surrounded by loving people. So happy to have met you and hope we meet up again soon, I have a giant hug to give you!

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  • Reply Sophia November 3, 2014 at 3:01 am

    I am a long-time reader and lurker but think this may be my first comment on your page. Congratulations on the book, if it is anywhere near as beautiful as your posts in this space than I cannot wait to get my hands on a copy! Also, congratulations on coming out – that can’t have been easy and I admire your strength for doing so nonetheless. I just hope that soon (and this moment cannot come soon enough) we will all be accepted for who we are, not who we love. Until then, I wish you all the strength you need and all the success you deserve!

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  • Reply David Krynauw November 3, 2014 at 6:01 am

    That must have been a difficult blog to write. Well done. One of my schools had the motto “Be Yourself”. I feel like you are starting to do that and it’s great. You can only let your true personality shine through when you are yourself. And enjoy what you are!

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  • Reply shweta November 3, 2014 at 6:25 am

    dear Kamran,

    be what you want to be & do what you want to do. if people could only see beyond their religion or their biased ideas, the world would be a better place to live in. big yay for the book !!

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  • Reply Simon November 3, 2014 at 7:19 am

    Kamran. This doesn’t change who you are: an immensely talented person who enhances the lives of your friends, your readers and your audience. This actually just reinforces how genuine you are, and in this lifetime those people are increasingly hard to find. Keep on writing, taking photographs and being yourself.

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  • Reply Matt November 3, 2014 at 7:38 am

    Beautiful post Kamran, and congratulations for standing up for yourself and choosing to live in the light, I’m proud of you! I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy of your book! You an incredible baker, and writer, and we are very lucky to have you around!

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  • Reply [email protected] November 3, 2014 at 7:42 am

    I loved the video and your news is not that much of a surprise. I’ve been the sister and the cousin and again the cousin to men coming out in my family. The ONLY reason I cried was worrying about how they might be hurt by other people. Alas, take who you are and be the best who you are. It really started with this honest post that made me breathe a sigh of relief for you, as holding onto to a secret is quite a burden. Keep in mind that everyone has them. Everyone. I’m a Christian (Jesus loving) and I 100% believe you don’t choose this. It’s who you are and if you have conservative, religious relatives, they may try to convince you otherwise, mostly out of fear and sometimes out of ignorance. In my world, my faith, you are much loved, more than you could know, and all the beauty and creativity that comes from your hands and heart comes first from him. That’s what I believe. And, this book is going to be a delight. But keep making these videos. You are here to bring sweetness and joy to the world. You’re doing it.

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  • Reply Rochelle Ramos November 3, 2014 at 8:45 am

    What a beautiful post! I’m so happy you have been able to share something so personal and have learned that you have the right to be happy! All I can say is that I hope you will continue to receive the feeling of acceptance and love you deserve from everyone you know now and meet in the future!

    As for your book, I’ll have to wait to see if I’ll be lucky enough to get it in Europe or I’ll go in search of acquiring it from the states :). If it’s even half as beautiful as what i’ve seen you produce here over the past few years then I must have it in my collection!!


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  • Reply Rachael November 3, 2014 at 8:48 am

    So excited for that book Kamran! You are amazing! I have always thought you were amazing and this post just solidifies those feelings. XOXO

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  • Reply Gregory November 3, 2014 at 8:59 am

    Kam- this post was beautiful and honest! Congratulations on coming out. Your writing is so bloody amazing!!! Don’t get me started on that f$%^$! fantastic video too! I LOVE how in sync the motions were with the music. Oh and the photos are amazing as well! Great work Kam!

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  • Reply John November 3, 2014 at 9:11 am

    Dear Kam,
    What a man! What a writer! What a baker! God bless you, and through you many others. Look forward to baking your recipes and following your story. John

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  • Reply Gillian November 3, 2014 at 9:15 am


    What a beautiful post. And a recipe with two of my favorite flavors. I was just given a stack of Amadei dark chocolate, I am almost looking forward to the next raining day here in Rome to make this.

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  • Reply Sean November 3, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Kudos to you! Coming out as gay or anything for that matter is an important step. The more at home in your own skin you are, the more at peace with the world you’ll be. A very wise and strong thing to do.

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  • Reply KalynsKitchen November 3, 2014 at 9:40 am

    Beautifully written. And I am with you all the way. I have a gay brother, and watched him struggle with this (much later in life than your age) so I know how difficult it is. But being true to who you are is always it’s own best reward! xoxo

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  • Reply Kathy Strahs November 3, 2014 at 9:42 am

    Congratulations, Kamran! Being true to yourself…it takes so much courage, and I’m so happy that you’re taking that step. Much love!!

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  • Reply Sini | My Blue&White Kitchen November 3, 2014 at 10:26 am

    You should be so proud of yourself, Kamran. Never be sorry for who you are. This post was so brave and honest and wise. I thank you for your courage to write and share it.
    But there’s also so much more to this post than your powerful message; this cake looks luscious, your book looks phenomenal (can’t wait to bake from it!), and that video is great! So many things to celebrate tonight!

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  • Reply thelittleloaf November 3, 2014 at 10:33 am

    Yes to everything about this post, from being yourself to the peanut butter mousse. And congratulations on the book – it looks like an absolute beauty x

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  • Reply Robin November 3, 2014 at 10:35 am

    So proud of you, Kam. You, Mr., will do amazing things in this life (even more amazing than your already amazing accomplishments — your blog, photography, book, this post, your empathy that you’ve already given to the world), and I am so happy for you. Never stop being self-aware, trying to be the best you can be… and I’m sure you won’t.

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  • Reply Billy November 3, 2014 at 10:40 am

    Crazy happy for you Kamran, it only gets more fabulous from here. Welcome to the club!

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  • Reply Lydia (The Perfect Pantry) November 3, 2014 at 10:44 am

    A beautiful post, and an absolutely sinful dessert. Hats off to you for both. Be the loving person you are.

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  • Reply S November 3, 2014 at 10:47 am

    You are talented, brave and beautiful. I am so happy for you – you must have taken a deep breath of relief after writing this. You are right, we deserve to be happy and to be loved. We should not be treated differently because of our sexual preferences. Hugs, S

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  • Reply [email protected] November 3, 2014 at 11:08 am

    Such a beautiful post, Kamran. Coming from an Indian and from a multi faith background, coming out was hard for me too but you’re right you will be a happier person at the end of the day and I’m honestly thrilled for you. Stay strong and be yourself :) Congratulations everything and on the book too, it’s gorgeous!

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  • Reply Ashley November 3, 2014 at 11:43 am

    You are strong. You are brave. And you are LOVED.

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  • Reply Garrett November 3, 2014 at 11:51 am


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  • Reply Kate November 3, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    I’m so moved by your honesty and bravery — though this has undoubtedly been a difficult journey for you, it’s also the beginning of another phase where you can be fully open with those around you, and I hope with all my heart that the people you care about surprise you with the unconditionality of their love and support. (I’m not sure you remember me — we met at BlogHer Food years ago, and even then I was impressed by how articulate and grounded you are.) <3

    Also, this dessert looks absolutely amazeballs and I can't wait to buy your book!

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  • Reply Heather in SF November 3, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    It is important to be yourself and it’s good you’ve learned this at such a young age. Being authentic and being true to yourself and to who you are will help you be happy in the long run. Good luck with your new book and I’m very proud of you for being open and honest about everything.

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  • Reply Jen @ My Kitchen Addiction November 3, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful and honest post… Being authentic and being yourself can be so hard at times (I know, I’m a fellow people pleaser), but it pays off in the end.

    Also, I’ve grown a bit tired of blogger cookbooks lately, but I cannot wait to get my hands on yours. I know it will be nothing short of amazing… Congratulations! :)

    PS – That swiss roll looks divine… My healthy afternoon snack is looking rather dull in comparison.

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  • Reply Eunice November 3, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    Loved you since the day you were born and will love you till the day I’m gone from this world. For those people that truly love/care and want to be a part of your life, you know we will always be just a call away. For those that can’t accept you for who you are then they were just ships in the ocean passing by and missing the best part of you. “Their loss not yours.” Nice peanut butter mousse by the way; can’t wait to taste it and waiting for the book to come out.
    Lab U ^j^

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  • Reply Sabrina Modelle November 3, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    One meeeelion kisses from me to you. Love you, love your cake, and can’t wait to love every page of your book. This was a beautiful piece. Smoooch!

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  • Reply merry jennifer November 3, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    Oh, Kamran. I’m so happy for you. Congratulations on your new book, but mostly, congratulations on your honesty and bravery and for being true to yourself. Sending you much love today and always. xo

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  • Reply Mama p November 3, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    So proud of you on so many levels you are an EXTRAORDINARY person and everything about you ROCKS so don’t EVER change for anybody. What you have accomplished what you have overcome and the man that you are are BE PROUD BABY!!!!
    We all are !!!!!!

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  • Reply Jess November 3, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    What a post! Congratulations on all of it. I’m so looking forward to your book. xx.

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  • Reply maggy November 3, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    Love to you, Kamran! You are a spectacular human being, a bright shining star. Thrilled for you, your book, your truth, and your future. And that roll. xoxoxoxoxoxo

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  • Reply kellypea November 3, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    Congratulations to you — beauty and grace. Wishing you so much happiness ahead. I loved this so much.

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  • Reply az November 3, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    There is something incredibly powerful about revealing who we are. Sometimes it can have a polarizing effect with the people around us. For us, though, it is grounding and helps clarify what we are all about. I’m excited for you. I’m cheering you on. Also, congrats on the book!

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  • Reply Dhivya November 3, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    I have been following your blog for a while now and I am thrilled to find out your book will be available this month, I will be pre ordering mine soon. And congratulations for coming out- I am sure this was difficult post to write!

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  • Reply Alejandra November 3, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    This is the beginning of so much amazing for you. Truth opens the door to so much. Congratulations + buckets of love. Can’t wait for your book!

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  • Reply Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar November 4, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Mmmm this roll is so pretty!! LOVE this recipe. A show stopper!

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  • Reply tea_austen November 4, 2014 at 2:28 am

    I am so with you. I always have been.
    Congratulations on taking this huge, brave, beautiful step! To live in your own truth is one of the most important things in life. I am sure arriving at this point was not easy. Here is to your courage and strength.
    And to your book as well! It looks absolutely brilliant.
    Thanks for shining so bright.

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  • Reply Jennifer November 4, 2014 at 6:08 am

    Honey I love your site and I love you so much for having the courage to share something like this with your readers. You’re so talented and giving, and you deserve absolute happiness! Glancing through the comments on this post, I think I speak with all of your readers when I say: We love you!

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  • Reply Ellen @ Indigo Scones November 4, 2014 at 1:48 pm

    You, sir, amaze me. Continually. I’ve supported you and your site for ages now and I always got so excited when a new post from you would pop up. I am so so happy that you are learning self acceptance and doing something for yourself now, I think that with time you’ll find yourself in better places because of it. Big love to you, Kamran. The raw honesty in this post blew me away.

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  • Reply mehrunnisa November 4, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    kamran, many congratulations on the book! and kudos to you for your honesty and candour. as a fellow citizen of the world with south-asian heritage i understand the context in which you are voicing your truth. i know it takes courage. but above all i can imagine the liberation that truth brings. i am sure that there is much happiness in store for you. i have several friends who have been on a similar journey. one is happily civil partnered and i along with my husband had the honour of being his best-man. hopefully one day we will live in a world that is by and large colour blind in all its manifestations – race, religion, orientation et al. but until then, people like you will continue to inspire others to be true.

    wishing you all the best and more. x

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  • Reply Wenderly November 4, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    It is so very difficult to peel back the layers of expectation and reviel ones true self. So happy for you that you’ve chosen to do so. You’re a beautiful person. I wish you a lifetime of happiness and joy. Your door is wide open. Embrace the world and all of the exquisite things it has to offer you love! xo

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  • Reply Megan November 5, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    This must have been very difficult for you, I’m glad you did it, you can be true to yourself. You are very inspiring and I can’t believe how wise you are for your years. I wish you every success and happiness in the future. I am sure you are loved by many and they will all be happy for you. I’ve missed your posts, I was very happy to see your post in my reader. Thank you.

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  • Reply Kamran November 5, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    Gosh, all the comments, emails, tweets, messages… All of it has lifted my heart so much. I can’t thank all of you enough for your support, for sharing bits of your lives with me, for sharing your love… I am so humbled and filled with joy to know that no matter what our backgrounds might be, our upbringings, etc. that people are able to accept and love those that are different from them. That gives me so much hope. And to have experienced that during this time fills me with so much joy. So, thank you; all of you!

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  • Reply kickpleat November 5, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    Being true to yourself is hard enough for anyone, so congratulations on being honest and open. Hooray for your courage and to all the excitement and happiness ahead!

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  • Reply Betsy @ Desserts Required November 7, 2014 at 10:23 pm

    Ever feel like you walked into the wrong movie only to realize that you are so happy that you did?

    I am part of a video blog group. When your video was shared in the group, I clicked on your site to see it. It almost feels like a side note to write that I think the video is wonderful, which I do. I, especially, love watching how you made the peanut brittle which is so much easier than they way I have made it.

    It was when I scrolled down to leave a comment that I caught glimpses of words from other people commenting here and that made me stop what I was doing and go to the top of your post to read it all.

    We do not know each other and I hope this does not sound too ‘motherly’ but I am a so proud of you. I hope that you, always, remind yourself that having the courage to follow your true path will, in turn, give you the strength to continue on your journey.

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  • Reply Cara November 11, 2014 at 9:40 am

    Kamran, I just stumbled upon your blog today. This was the first post I read. You are an incredibly mature, compelling blogger. I could shower you with the obvious compliments about your photography and recipes (amazing), but what I hope you take away is that you are doing something incredibly special by sharing so much about yourself along with sharing your passion for cooking. Congratulations on your decision to share this particular part of your life with the world! I am saddened to hear that in this year, in this country, you are facing such adversity when deciding to share this part of yourself. Be proud of yourself though – you are probably more true and honest than most of the people you know, and that is an accomplishment.

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  • Reply Diana @ My Humble Kitchen November 14, 2014 at 8:16 am

    Oh Kamran, you are loved! I just wish you’d show your beautiful face more often because when you do, you shine! Diana (previously a little bit of spain in iowa)

    • Reply Kamran November 18, 2014 at 5:04 pm

      I promise; you’ll see so much more of me for now on! :)

  • Reply Christin November 17, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Hey Hallo, just read about you the first time and already love your blog, sweet recipes and pictures and your way of baking and communicating with us! This is a big inspiration for me! THANK YOU and all the best for you and your new book! Getting excited to read more!

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  • Reply Cristina November 18, 2014 at 8:05 am

    Hi Kamran, like many other of your readers I come around here fascinated by your wonderful recipes and pictures and I am so glad to see that behind all those beautiful works of art there is a marvellous person. Congratulations for coming out and for standing up for your rights. I always dream of a future when there will be no need to do it and I know that if this will happen is because of people like you that are fighting to achieve this.

    • Reply Kamran November 18, 2014 at 5:03 pm

      Thank you so much, Cristina! :)

  • Reply Jasmine November 18, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    Kamran. Such a heartfelt post and something that obviously has taken some time to share, such honesty, openness and love should, as far as I can see, bring only love & open arms in return. Congratulations on launching the book and this new chapter of/for you. With open arms from Oz & a now serious pregnancy craving for this cake xx

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  • Reply Marly November 19, 2014 at 10:45 am

    I’ve been contemplating the topic of authenticity a lot lately too. What does it mean? And I think it’s harder when you’ve been a people pleaser. And I think the notion of being a perfectionist as a people pleasure makes that even more difficult to know your true self. Anyway, just wanted to say I appreciated your post and that I respect your work and say cheers for you to being yourself, no matter who/what/how that is. And if there are some in your life that don’t get that? Well, they’re either not truly your friends or they’ll come around eventually. Change can be difficult. Give them some time to adjust and get to know you all over again.

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  • Reply Lyndsay // Coco Cake Land November 25, 2014 at 12:37 pm

    Kamran, first off – congratulations on COMING OUT. That is a huge, enormous, terrifying step. I want you to know how many people, both straight, gay or however they identify, support you and so many others in LOVE in any form. We truly all deserve acceptance and love. Secondly, your book looks incredibly gorgeous, from that knock-em-dead cover alone – so very exciting! Wishing you all the best, and hoping that those relationships you have lost, that those people come around eventually to understanding that it’s only love, friendship, family that keeps this world together (oh, and peanut butter chocolate can be considered the glue). xo

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  • Reply Nancie McDermott December 1, 2014 at 10:02 am

    Wow! Hooray for you, sir! What a beautifully written, deliciously decorated creation. Thank you for coming out, with who you are and with your first of many marvelous and fine books/major creative works. I have admired you and enjoyed your work since first encounter with you, and those responses I have grow every single time I see you/your work. You are a gift to the world. I personally connect with your meditations on perfectionism and the sensation that we need to please and perform and ‘be good’ or else. Here’s to “else”! Still a work in progress on those issues, and your wise, heartfelt words on the subject are sweeter than a choco-peanut-swissroll hunk-a-heaven. Thankful for you, your work, your spirit, and your book which I will have in my hands within the week!

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  • Reply Jamie December 2, 2014 at 11:04 pm

    I just found your blog and the book definitely looks great! I am glad you were able to take the steps you needed to in coming out and it is great of you to speak up and share online as I bet it will encourage many others :) Best wishes going forward with everything personal and otherwise! Now I’m going to keep looking around and pick a recipe to try..

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  • Reply Jordan December 8, 2014 at 11:39 pm

    Hi Kamran! I just found your book on the Anthropologie website and discovered your blog. I cannot wait to explore more. Everything likes beautiful and amazing and I cannot wait to get that book into my hands. I predict I have some roommates who will be pretty excited, too. Part of me wants to congratulate you on your bravery, and part of me wishes that we lived in a world where expressing our own identities didn’t require bravery at all. Regardless, I’m thrilled to have found this blog in this leg of your personal journey, and look forward to trying some delicious recipes. Sending good thoughts your way!

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  • Reply JB December 18, 2014 at 12:17 am

    Hello Kam,
    I’m a foodie mom and grandmother – love to cook and bake. Trying to figure out a way to make the clock hands turn backwards and trying to find a way to reinvent myself. Life IS always interesting – as you have discovered. Be true to yourself (something I didn’t do – I lived according to the expectations of others)and hopefully you’ll find life-long happiness and peace. Dream big. Take risks. Do, so you don’t regret that you didn’t.

    Just found and like the blog. I’ll look for the book at my local book store.

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  • Reply Philip December 25, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    Kam, your talents, bravery and strength are amazing…..what an inspiration for all of us.

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  • Reply Denise January 5, 2015 at 2:53 am

    I’ve been a lurker/reader of your blog for the past few years and I have loved every post you have made here. I cannot say that I know what you have been through but I do understand how hard it was for you to come to this decision. I am so proud of you for finally finding the courage and strength to face this challenge in your life and I’m even prouder that you have a made quite a wonderful surprise for your readers. Having a book is so exciting! We don’t know each other and I live miles away from you but I do hope that this, and the comments of support from all your readers, inspires you to keep going. You are doing many great things and I am happy to have stumbled upon your blog all those years ago. Looking forward to more of your posts.

    Sending you lots of love and hugs from the Philippines,
    D x

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  • Reply Amy @ Thoroughly Nourished Life January 13, 2015 at 11:26 pm

    I’m a lurking reader who has never commented before, but I would just like to applaud you on being so authentic, so open about your life in this post. You make beautiful art, and you are no doubt a beautiful soul. My theory is ‘you love who you love’ and I am glad that you are able now to love in public, not in secrecy and silence. Welcome to the light :) Be proud of your heart.

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  • Reply Joely March 12, 2015 at 7:11 pm

    Hi Kam, I am new to your blog. What I see immediately is your beauty, your immense talent, and your courage. My daughter came out last summer, and I completely support who she is. But even with that starting place, it still took an adjustment for my little brain to wrap around the “new” concept. She didn’t change, but I had to in order to keep up with her. The people in your life who don’t understand yet may just need some time. You just be the beautiful you that you are. They won’t want to miss out on all the good stuff you bring to their lives.

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  • Reply Nikki March 27, 2015 at 10:45 pm

    Hi Kam,

    I love this post. You are so brave and so eloquent, and your voice rings through the noise with a delicate yet strong clarity. I can relate to so many of the things that you mentioned in this post in talking about love and honesty, family, friends, school, work, diversity, obstacles. I also come from a multicultural family of multiple faiths, and your words could not have found me at a more serendipitous time. My heart is aching and it was as if you were looking directly into my heart as I read your words. Thank you for your honesty, for caring enough to put your inspirational words out there for us to read and connect with. Thank you so much for finding the words to say the things that so many of us long to say. Thank you for this post.

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  • Reply Nikki March 27, 2015 at 10:59 pm

    P.S. – I reached out to you on Instagram a while back when I first heard about your book, but when I went to get it, the store was sold out! I finally picked up your book yesterday night. I was in the bookstore standing on the escalator and as it reached the top floor, there was your book literally staring directly at me. It was fate!BRAVO! BRAVO!!! I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am an artist and I love the feel of your photographs; they always make my mouth water. Tremendous accomplishment, Kam! Congratulations a thousand times over! <3

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  • Reply Tony Baxter April 24, 2015 at 5:08 am

    Very good writting, good words, I get tears in my eyes! I came here by David Lebovitz! Take care!

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  • Reply thefolia April 24, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    Cheers to love, happiness, tolerance and courage…oh and of course chocolate peanut butter swiss roll!

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  • Reply Winston September 5, 2015 at 10:19 am

    You just won me over as a fan. Love your videos.

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  • Reply Joy October 5, 2015 at 9:49 am

    I really love your blog, photos & videos & you are a talented wordsmith! Such a lovely post, full of honesty & love – wishing you the best in all you do!

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  • Reply Samira October 16, 2015 at 1:44 am

    I am so making this Swiss roll! And the pavlova that I saw in the other post! Looks amazing :)
    I think this post might have been addressed more to your family and friends but i would like to comment on it if you would allow me..
    I am a Muslim, I was not exactly raised to accept people with different sexual inclinations than “normal” if I can put it that way, however, you sound so sincere, so honest, so at peace and so happy to have finally found the strength to “come out” as you say, that I don’t think anyone could be against you.. You are a very brave person and you deserve all the success and love you are getting on this blog. I respect that you decided to live your life your own way and do what feels right as you said, I have had to do that concerning other aspects of my own life and I know how difficult it can be to learn to be okay with what people think of you after you have decided to just choose your own path, no matter what the consequences. Be strong and keep being as brave as you are, and you’re right, it should not matter to you whether people are “with” or “against” you, they’re not living your life, YOU are and what matters is that you are comfortable in your own skin and that you are at peace with yourself. I wish you all the good luck in the world :)

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